Day 1--Equals empty/lonely feeling...

~Today was the day, the day I had been dreading since Jason came home...The day he left, we are working against a clock to get him back because as I have stated in previous blog posts my health has a long term recovery of excellent pending no more issues or anything but I have at least 9 months of my current AWFUL medication regime to rid my body of the paralyzed upper intestine and the colitis in the lower intestine. Now with this current diagnosis it would not be so bad if I still had my thyroid let's say because my body would ABSORB WELL again but sadly I have no thyroid as it was taken out in December 2011. So my thyroid medications do not seem to be working, therefore my GI medications are not working and the HUGE amount of steroids my body is on is taxing to say the least. It wreaks havoc on a body, it makes you unable to relax as well, paying attention to anything is tough and I feel anxious and fidgity not to mention it aids in retaining water and extra tummy baggage. I was in the grocery store today with the kids and this women came up to me and asked when I am "DUE"! I barely made it out of there without crying..Got to the car and cried in privacy...Somewhat...:/ Sadly it is the truth though, I look 5 months pregnant and I believe I am being gentle, nothing fits but big t-shirts and sweats...I feel frumpy and dumpy as summer is upon us! I should be taking the kids places, have energy and feel fantastic! Instead I feel dumpy, and sad and now I miss my husband so much I can hardly stand it! I just have to hope and pray the Air Force will see he needs to be home helping his sick wife and young kiddies, and take some pity...Because this time next year I will have beat this, be healthy again and feeling like "SARAH" again. None of this whinning as I know it sounds and I am sorry...But my blog, my rules! Not everyone is always happy and peppy right? I have no one to talk to really so this is my outlet and helps me a great deal in mind, body and spirit. I thank you all who support My Little Family of 5! We have seen our fair share of ups and downs but I believe this will make me even stronger than I already am! Here I am a few days from my 32nd birthday and all of my birthdays in my 30's have been spent pregnant and now "LOOKING" pregnant...I am simply spent. This weekend calls for a lot of rain and if that is the case I plan on taking the trio somewhere...Not sure where yet but might take a fun drive, the kids love music and the car! Again thank you so much for the support all...Much Love! <3 ~S