Health-wish I could fix it!

~To those who take the time to listen and are part of my life be it work, close friends, family and even my fellow bloggers who give support though we may never have "met", know this year has been very tough. Very trying in more ways than I could count but the major few being my health and its ever present up's and down's, being a single parent to 3 kids under the age of 3, and finally working full time with that. I know many women and men out there who are single parents and work full time and let me say WE ROCK! My children are my light, my sun and everything in between and yes at times difficult but that is what children do-test those limits, those boundries and well being kids! The four of us have formed an amazing bond over this past year and for that I am forever grateful and happy. I was always that kid in school who was always sick with something, be it stomach related, thyroid related, or ear nose and throat related. I got sick more than the normal kid, teenager, young adult and now an adult in her early 30's. I am still that person, sick more than I would care to admitt and sadly I find it embarrassing but I guess that is where blogging comes in, it is my release because my conversations are limited to work banter with a few and then my trio who have limited vocabularies! Haha! When I was little I had started having major tummy issues, that landed me in the hospital at a young age..I still remember my bubby(Little brother) waving to me from outside the window because he was not allowed in to see me to the present. One major hospital stay this year that resulted in answers and a new lifestyle that consisted of NO WHEAT, and NO GLUTEN. I have severe Celiac disease, at times to the point of if there is a tiny bit of cross contamination I am in big trouble. Well here I am back in big trouble, after surgery last month thinking a junk gallbladder was the culprit now to who knows what in the heck is going on in my stomach. Causing severe pain to the point of tears, and doubled over, a very bland and boring diet for fear of further sickness and now my Dr's fear I have Crohn's disease. I do not know much about it but add in my Ulcerative colitis, thyroid issues and this I am what they call a HOT MESS! :) I have to dig deep and find small humor in anything otherwise I fear I may cry. Tomorrow will be another procedure and then hopefully some answers perhaps? I am on so many medications to counter act what this illness has done to me that I currently weigh what I did when I was pregnant nearly 2 years ago, what a blow to my ever decreasing ego. I find myself at a loss and so that is why I blog, I blog for sanity, in the hopes that I will find someone who can relate in some small way...I simply want peace and that is not likely just yet, after this exhausting year I decided a few things. That I am taking time off to be a mom, wife, student and just "Be" for a few months when we get to Florida. Find my way back to well me, who I am and what makes me tick, I need to find exercise again. Not only for the added bonus of being healthy but it is my release and while I was on single parent duty I have not had the time to go to the gym. I want to look in the mirror and see beauty, sadly all I see is dark circles under my eyes, hair that is very thin due to my medications, and weight that I am not happy with. I want my glow back, my smile back. I am determined to find it, I simply need to get healthy first and then hopefully the rest will fall into place. The plan was to have the military movers take our stuff mid-October and then head to West Virginia where we would wait for Jason and then drive to Florida together. No longer the case, now the movers will come at the last minute, then the kids and I and our dogs will stay in a hotel room for a few days waiting for Jason to fly in from Korea-then we will make our drive across the country to see my Grandpa in Missouri, my best friend in Chicago, family in West Viriginia and finally our new home in Florida. I realized that as my health once again took a nose dive I could not do this alone so I will wait for Jason and do this dirve as a family, which is the best way in my opinion! I will close, I thank those few who read and follow for the support. It really means alot, and I wrote this more for me than anyone/anything so I am sorry if I sound like a debbie-downer, but I keep it real and currently this is real to me! Side note-I added my most favorite picture of my kids, taken this summer! I love them more than there are words. <3 Love to you all~