A Hallmark holiday~

Today is the Hallmark holiday, better known as Valentine's day or even better known as my mama's birthday! She is 21 again! So here I sit reflecting on the last several weeks and what I have not blogged about recently, life has had its ups and downs as of late yet my little family of five always prevails and for that I am happy and BLESSED. This move rocked Jason and I to the core, between having a home in Colorado that occupies too much worry and frustration, to my trying so hard to find a job that would be worth it for me to work. To put 3 kids in daycare is some hefty price I must say but in the same breath it must be worth it if that makes sense. Some in my life said I should take it and get back out in the workforce so to speak, getting my foot in the door at a major medical center here in Ft Walton Beach but sadly at such a small hourly wage I simply had to pass on the opportunity. Believe me when I say this, it was very hard for me to turn it down for I miss working, I miss getting dressed up daily. YES I love being a stay at home mom BUT this is the first time in nearly 14 years I have not had a job outside the home and it is difficult at times in all honesty. Perhaps that sounds selfish, perhaps it sounds silly that I miss working as much as I do BUT I believe I am a better mommy to be working, making money for our growing family, and helping take some of the financial worry off of Jason and myself. I believe the right job will come around, I just need to have faith in God and know his plan may not match my own, in his timing. We currently have to cover a home here with all of the essentials and a home in Colorado, needless to say we are stretched thin but our kids are healthy and our family is TOGETHER-for that is what matters most. I have found a few churches I am still "test driving" if you will, and I know that soon I will find a church that is right for me and the kids. The area here is beautiful, the water is 5 minutes away and endless things to do...This is HOME, this is where we hope to retire in a few years and to set roots down. I miss our Colorado family but they will have to come visit in Florida! :) I am excited for all of the wonderful things God has going on in our life, and I need to remember those feelings when I am feeling lost, sad, lonely, confused, etc. This move has brought plenty of changes and with any change that may happen things evolve. I am finding myself losing friendships, not for lack of trying but sadly a combination of factors I am sure. Some long time friendships and some shorter ones but I take those so seriously and sadly this is one MAJOR thing that has rocked me to my core, to my soul. With a military lifestyle I had grown used to those special people, so I guess that is why I mourn the loss. Do any of you out there in blogger-ville ever feel that way? I know we all grow and perhaps outgrow one another but why? Why does this hurt so badly? I see people moving on from me after being vital in my life/world...and I was vital in their life/world...Darn it-BLAH! Next I have reached out to several mommy and me groups in town and hope to meet some of them soon! The weather here in the "Winter" I guess you could call it is in rainy, and rainy and yes did I mention RAIN? The rain does put a damper on things, this coming week I hope to start planting my garden...Some roses and wild flowers in the front and a small vegetable and fruit garden in back. We shall see how it all goes! Sadly we have stayed in-doors alot recently due to Violet's cast, the poor babe has been on limited walking and playing for a month now and I pray the cast comes off next week-FINGERS CROSSED! Next Jason's mom will be here tomorrow, for a blissful week and we are so happy! We are going to do some sight seeing, spending time together, and Jason and I are headed out for a night for a delicious meal and dancing this weekend! We have not had a night like this together in over a year, I cannot wait! I have a beautiful outfit planned complete with gorgeous highheels!! :) I am still in school, finishing up this course load and then I will finish up massage therapy school like I have been planning for. I am so excited about this new venture in my life-it will give me the chance to dictate my own hours, and be a mom and wife FIRST. I still am hopeful for a DoD job soon, the market is getting better again FINALLY in that regard! I am so hopeful for this new year despite the hurdles thrown my way! I believe each hurdle prepares us for real life issues and life events! I am prepared and ready to conquer the world! Many blessings, love and light~