What can I say--I am the eternal optimist, there I said it! Hi my name is Sarah and I believe in the good in everyone when they may not deserve it, I may see a pattern in which they will disapoint, and that life will turn right side up...If there is such a thing as right side up with LIFE. In the past 5 years I have been on a roller-coaster, of emotions, changes, miscarriages, becoming a mommy, being a military spouse who did life without her other half for a year and now about to embark on more time alone without him, YET I wake up daily in hopes things will flip...Sort of like magnets. With that being said, our family has been in a "funk", we have been struggling with LIFE stuff...A house in Colorado that we maintain, a house here we maintain, one small income, and still adjusting to being a family unit. I am independent to a fault, another "A-HA moment"..To ask for help is difficult but lately I have had to ask for spiritual help, friendship help, etc...Is it easy to realize that you need "help" in any sense? NOPE! But I hit my personal wall if you will this last week, my little Kellan struggling, no sleep on either end, and stressing about LIFE STUFF has had me tapped. I wish I could sugar coat things but I believe that it is vital to be real, and my blogging is real...It will not always be happy, unicorns and rainbows...There will be times where I vent and do so in hopes of trying to understand things a bit better, maybe another mommy, friend, can help shed some light on things for me, give me tips...Who knows but that is my reason for blogging, it's my outlet, it's my way of expressing myself. So please bear with me through this one~~I had high hopes for the weekend, it was supposed to be a beautiful Saturday filled with warm weather, no rain, and the beach was calling our name so at around noon on Saturday we packed up the ole' mom misile-AKA mini-van and we were off. We headed toward Navarre beach which is sensational, clear water, soft white sand, and is our little families version of Heaven on earth. First we stopped off at a local hot dog place so the kids and Jason could have a yummy lunch, I ate earlier at home since eating Gluten free out can always be a tad tricky at times and I find it easier this way. We were all sitting there enjoying our family time which is becoming limited as Jason leaves in 2 weeks for 2 months, when out of the blue Kellan literally LOST IT. He got so upset, he through his hot dog, his drink, and then proceeded to throw himself on the ground and essentially lose his mind. People were staring and whispering and of course me being "mama bear" I said to the people something like "Haven't you ever seen a kid act like a kid?" Yeah I was pissed, pissed at my son, pissed at people, simply pissed. We all ran to the car, literally...Jason and I were ushering the trio to the car just as fast as their little legs and our legs could get us there. We got in the car and all settled and our moods were ruined, we all were upset, and that funk had returned ten-fold, but we decided a nice beach trip was still in order, once again we were WRONG on that one too...We got there, all settled and Jason took the kids for a walk to look for seashells and such while I decompressed, listened to the waves breaking, the seagulls overhead, feel the sun on my face, feel the soft sand under my feet and just be...It was heaven, I thought, I prayed, I had a few precious ME minutes. Jason and the trio came back for more sunblock, to unload the seashells, and for some water and a snack...it began to turn awful again, the moods all around were awful, poor Violet has my food allergies it seems so she was miserable after eating her lunch, her tummy hurt and she was literally crying saying she hurt so I cuddled her. The twins began to get cranky again, and then Kellan once again lost those marbles and had a total meltdown, and once again with the staring people...So Jason took all 3 on another walk in hopes of getting them out of it, NOPE...He ended up having to carry all 3 up the beach back to our spot, not to laugh but it was quite the sight, him carrying 3 kids down the beach who were screaming bloody murder and kicking and such...Wowzers! I quickly packed our bags and we literally ran to the car, we dusted everyone off and got them in the car and started making our way to the Verizon store because a case I got a week ago fell apart and I was going to demand a replacement which totally did not happen but ooohhh well. We made it home, made dinner and thought the kids would chill out and relax-NOPE again. It was as if 3 tornados had been born and would not stop! I literally have never seen my kids this punky, I did the bath thing with them while Jason cleaned the kitchen and halfway through I lost my marbles, I had hit that wall again..Kellan was kicking Scarlett in the face and Violet was near losing teeth by slipping and hitting the side of the bathtub-Yup I was crying, and told Jason I had it. He took over, I grabbed my keys and purse and left, where does one go at 8pm on Saturday night? Who knows, I went and washed the car and just listened to Pandora on my phone while driving...Music calms me, it helps me go back to a time when I had my music and my quiet time and it was just what I needed. I got home after the kids were in bed and I hit the bed early because I knew I would get woken up half a dozen times during the night, Yet I tossed and turned and then around 2am the waking up began...Every hour on the hour, and then finally around 4am I just laid on his floor in a ball and he slept a whopping hour, we did not make it to church sadly because I was so tired I was sick to my stomach, so we laid around for a few hours and then I got ready and had to make the drive to Pensacola to drop my wedding ring off as it had a loose diamond, and it needed to be re-dipped in white gold so I thought a bit of time at the mall with just me would help, nope not really...I got home around 630pm and did the bath thing again with the kids, got them all settled and to sleep...Then like clock work Kellan woke up at midnight, so we drug his bed back into the girls room where it will stay for the forseeable future. He slept 4 solid hours and told me felt "happy" being in their room which made me smile and for him to tell me that melted my heart and made me feel better. So now I sit here on Monday morning after 2 heaping cups of green tea and I am thinking...My Kellan has to be handled a little differently, he responds negativly to traditional dicipline so I will take a different approach, a softer approach because he does not respond well to raised voices and time outs, heck I cannot even keep him in his room with the door shut because he loses it! Also we share a common wall with our neighbors and they have called and complained that they can hear our child screaming so yeah...we have to be careful there. Him sleeping with us is not an option, but I pray him being with the girls works, please send us prayers and love through this time. In the next few weeks change will happen again with their daddy leaving, I am thankful I have a very nice support system within my church women's group...They are my blessings. The confusion part of this blog is ten fold, I apply for every job under the sun and still cannot seem to find anything that will help benefit my family which is discouraging because at the point me working is a must, and soon. Please also send positive vibes for that, I so appreciate it. I will post pictures of our beach time, and my flowers in my front yard-last night I noticed that my LED lights lining my driveway are gone, and my flowers were trampled, so I guess the neighbor kids did that-they are PUNKY! Regardless I will smile through all of this, because life is never easy for anyone...We must choose to make it better if we want. After our funk-tastic weekend I WILL make our week better NO MATTER WHAT. I will fix my front yard and try to not let it bother me, I will give my kids extra love and cuddles because that makes everything better and will continue to tackle things as they come. Life my friends is not easy, but despite the roller-coaster it is so very worth it. Turn every negative into a positive, because I promise you will not be disapointed. Smile even when you may not want to, because it feels much better to smile than to frown. Love and light to you all~Namaste my friends~~Side note I cannot wait for my yoga class tonight! I hope you enjoy the pictures! XOXO~S
What can I say--I am the eternal optimist, there I said it! Hi my name is Sarah and I believe in the good in everyone when they may not deserve it, I may see a pattern in which they will disapoint, and that life will turn right side up...If there is such a thing as right side up with LIFE. In the past 5 years I have been on a roller-coaster, of emotions, changes, miscarriages, becoming a mommy, being a military spouse who did life without her other half for a year and now about to embark on more time alone without him, YET I wake up daily in hopes things will flip...Sort of like magnets. With that being said, our family has been in a "funk", we have been struggling with LIFE stuff...A house in Colorado that we maintain, a house here we maintain, one small income, and still adjusting to being a family unit. I am independent to a fault, another "A-HA moment"..To ask for help is difficult but lately I have had to ask for spiritual help, friendship help, etc...Is it easy to realize that you need "help" in any sense? NOPE! But I hit my personal wall if you will this last week, my little Kellan struggling, no sleep on either end, and stressing about LIFE STUFF has had me tapped. I wish I could sugar coat things but I believe that it is vital to be real, and my blogging is real...It will not always be happy, unicorns and rainbows...There will be times where I vent and do so in hopes of trying to understand things a bit better, maybe another mommy, friend, can help shed some light on things for me, give me tips...Who knows but that is my reason for blogging, it's my outlet, it's my way of expressing myself. So please bear with me through this one~~I had high hopes for the weekend, it was supposed to be a beautiful Saturday filled with warm weather, no rain, and the beach was calling our name so at around noon on Saturday we packed up the ole' mom misile-AKA mini-van and we were off. We headed toward Navarre beach which is sensational, clear water, soft white sand, and is our little families version of Heaven on earth. First we stopped off at a local hot dog place so the kids and Jason could have a yummy lunch, I ate earlier at home since eating Gluten free out can always be a tad tricky at times and I find it easier this way. We were all sitting there enjoying our family time which is becoming limited as Jason leaves in 2 weeks for 2 months, when out of the blue Kellan literally LOST IT. He got so upset, he through his hot dog, his drink, and then proceeded to throw himself on the ground and essentially lose his mind. People were staring and whispering and of course me being "mama bear" I said to the people something like "Haven't you ever seen a kid act like a kid?" Yeah I was pissed, pissed at my son, pissed at people, simply pissed. We all ran to the car, literally...Jason and I were ushering the trio to the car just as fast as their little legs and our legs could get us there. We got in the car and all settled and our moods were ruined, we all were upset, and that funk had returned ten-fold, but we decided a nice beach trip was still in order, once again we were WRONG on that one too...We got there, all settled and Jason took the kids for a walk to look for seashells and such while I decompressed, listened to the waves breaking, the seagulls overhead, feel the sun on my face, feel the soft sand under my feet and just be...It was heaven, I thought, I prayed, I had a few precious ME minutes. Jason and the trio came back for more sunblock, to unload the seashells, and for some water and a snack...it began to turn awful again, the moods all around were awful, poor Violet has my food allergies it seems so she was miserable after eating her lunch, her tummy hurt and she was literally crying saying she hurt so I cuddled her. The twins began to get cranky again, and then Kellan once again lost those marbles and had a total meltdown, and once again with the staring people...So Jason took all 3 on another walk in hopes of getting them out of it, NOPE...He ended up having to carry all 3 up the beach back to our spot, not to laugh but it was quite the sight, him carrying 3 kids down the beach who were screaming bloody murder and kicking and such...Wowzers! I quickly packed our bags and we literally ran to the car, we dusted everyone off and got them in the car and started making our way to the Verizon store because a case I got a week ago fell apart and I was going to demand a replacement which totally did not happen but ooohhh well. We made it home, made dinner and thought the kids would chill out and relax-NOPE again. It was as if 3 tornados had been born and would not stop! I literally have never seen my kids this punky, I did the bath thing with them while Jason cleaned the kitchen and halfway through I lost my marbles, I had hit that wall again..Kellan was kicking Scarlett in the face and Violet was near losing teeth by slipping and hitting the side of the bathtub-Yup I was crying, and told Jason I had it. He took over, I grabbed my keys and purse and left, where does one go at 8pm on Saturday night? Who knows, I went and washed the car and just listened to Pandora on my phone while driving...Music calms me, it helps me go back to a time when I had my music and my quiet time and it was just what I needed. I got home after the kids were in bed and I hit the bed early because I knew I would get woken up half a dozen times during the night, Yet I tossed and turned and then around 2am the waking up began...Every hour on the hour, and then finally around 4am I just laid on his floor in a ball and he slept a whopping hour, we did not make it to church sadly because I was so tired I was sick to my stomach, so we laid around for a few hours and then I got ready and had to make the drive to Pensacola to drop my wedding ring off as it had a loose diamond, and it needed to be re-dipped in white gold so I thought a bit of time at the mall with just me would help, nope not really...I got home around 630pm and did the bath thing again with the kids, got them all settled and to sleep...Then like clock work Kellan woke up at midnight, so we drug his bed back into the girls room where it will stay for the forseeable future. He slept 4 solid hours and told me felt "happy" being in their room which made me smile and for him to tell me that melted my heart and made me feel better. So now I sit here on Monday morning after 2 heaping cups of green tea and I am thinking...My Kellan has to be handled a little differently, he responds negativly to traditional dicipline so I will take a different approach, a softer approach because he does not respond well to raised voices and time outs, heck I cannot even keep him in his room with the door shut because he loses it! Also we share a common wall with our neighbors and they have called and complained that they can hear our child screaming so yeah...we have to be careful there. Him sleeping with us is not an option, but I pray him being with the girls works, please send us prayers and love through this time. In the next few weeks change will happen again with their daddy leaving, I am thankful I have a very nice support system within my church women's group...They are my blessings. The confusion part of this blog is ten fold, I apply for every job under the sun and still cannot seem to find anything that will help benefit my family which is discouraging because at the point me working is a must, and soon. Please also send positive vibes for that, I so appreciate it. I will post pictures of our beach time, and my flowers in my front yard-last night I noticed that my LED lights lining my driveway are gone, and my flowers were trampled, so I guess the neighbor kids did that-they are PUNKY! Regardless I will smile through all of this, because life is never easy for anyone...We must choose to make it better if we want. After our funk-tastic weekend I WILL make our week better NO MATTER WHAT. I will fix my front yard and try to not let it bother me, I will give my kids extra love and cuddles because that makes everything better and will continue to tackle things as they come. Life my friends is not easy, but despite the roller-coaster it is so very worth it. Turn every negative into a positive, because I promise you will not be disapointed. Smile even when you may not want to, because it feels much better to smile than to frown. Love and light to you all~Namaste my friends~~Side note I cannot wait for my yoga class tonight! I hope you enjoy the pictures! XOXO~S
super sweet pics, and don't fret...I know its hard as a new Mom, but Kellan is displaying typical 3/4 year old behavior. You have great kids, and they will find their way as well as you! xoxo
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