~First off today was a better day! I feel I am really seeing a difference in the way I feel and the way my body feels. My body tells me if I ingested something I should not have, that may contain wheat/gluten or all of the above. I was able to venture out with the family to the library to get a few more books to occupy my time because although I felt decent today does not mean I can go back to my regular ways of being although that would be nice too! I miss work, I miss interaction with my patients at work, and I miss feeling productive most of all. Thankfully my job is understanding and knows this is a must for now, until after surgery. When I go back I pray I have a renewed sense of self, I will still be on icky medications so I will need to learn to navigate those at the correct times so I am not sleepy while driving etc, because the last thing I want is to put my children and myself and others in harms way. I am blessed to have a dear friend watching and doing my job while I am home, I do not worry but I will be buying her a present to say Thanks for being amazing as always!
Tonight is the first night I made dinner! I made baked chicken with a tiny bit of lemon pepper on it(And for those who really know me know I love that seasoning!)and fresh Asparagus....That was it! Nothing fancy but so satisfying, probably one of the most satisfying meals I have made in quite some time. I always made baked chicken with heavy gravys made from Campbell's soups, and those are not bad but COVERED in Gluten sadly. My next project is to make a Gluten free gravy so I can make my Sheppherd's pie! For desert I was craving peaches, and I have fresh peach preserves as peaches are not in season yet, Also these are Gluten free so I took a corn tortilla, warmed it up and put peach preserves in it! OH MY GOSH YUMMY! I ate a few and I will leave it at that...Hehe! So here I sit, thinking about where I was almost 3 weeks ago, in a miserable state wondering how I would make it through another day and today I feel I have rounded a corner. I know there are many more to round, and sadly the next and biggest is April 23rd, I apologize for mentioning it a lot but I am tired. Tired of surgery, being poked at, and simply done. In the last 10 years I have had so many surgeries to explain why I had pain, etc...To date I do not have enough fingers to count the amount of surgeries I have had. All necessary of course so I am blessed but simply tired of the whole thing, but I pray this is it. My Dr seems confident that we will find the answer/answers...He has been my Dr for almost 10 years and I trust him more than anything not to mention he delivered all 3 of our beautiful children!
Blogging has become theraputic for me, it is a release when no one will, can or wants to listen. I mean I am realistic, who wants to hear about someone's GI issues all the time? Haha! Or who wants to be the shoulder all the time to the girl who always seems to be sick with something? Yes these are real comments I have heard, felt the sting from and I get it in the end. I really do but with that being said we all will go through trials, I just like to think I am getting all of mine out of the way! :P I take my beloved Grammy Millie for example, sick her entire life and she never complained. She always just lived, lived for her family now mind you my views and memories of her might be skewed since she was my grammy and my favorite at that. She had heart issues, Diabetes, you name it and she had it. One time her Achillies tendon just snapped, then she fell and broke hips, and had surgeries and strokes, again you name it and she had it. I like to think I get some strength from her. She was positive until the day she went to Heaven, and not a day goes by that I do not miss her mischevious laugh or grin, or us eating hot wings and pizza...Not on a Diabetic diet for sure but she lived and lived life to it's fullest! I do the bogging for me, If I have zero followers or 200 it matters not, I put these words down here for ME. It helps me deal! This week is filled with more Dr appointments(Sarcasm,sigh,kicking/stomping feet)and then pre-op on Friday, a good weekend with my family then Monday morning here we go! We are also trying to get the necessary paperwork for Jason to come home early...This colitis will interfere with my moving for awhile and taking care of the kids and house, etc...alone. Prayers for that please, because this is something we need in a big way. If it is in God's plan then it will happen. I have started telling myself that and it leaves me with peace. Tomorrow we have a few landscapers coming by to give us quotes for our yard, we are so excited! I cannot wait!
For now I will close...I hope everyone has a blessed evening...<3
~S
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