~What a day!!!

~Well we got the news we had been hoping for with regard to Jason coming home early from Korea to help me and our 3 amazing kiddos. With a heavy and stressed heart Jason told me this morning that our humanitarian request from head quarters Air Force was denied, they essentially stated I am not sick enough to warrant help and so now we are have one other avenue to try but he is essentially in Korea another 7 months because of the extra time he took while I was ill. I am frustrated to put it mildly, pissed off to put it bluntly and depressed a bit because simply put I NEED HELP! I still juggle a very full plate of Dr appointments weekly, my kids and their appointments, daycare, running a home, well the list is endless as with any military spouse. I know many that do this every day for long periods of time. But why do I feel so alone? I have put in previous post's, it seems the people I used to have to keep me company, spend time with, have dwindled down to next to nothing sadly and I am left feeling very sad. I called my dad this morning because without fail my folks are always there despite their busy lives and he listened and commented and simply said he is sad with me but that does not help the feeling I have that this plain SUCKS! You give your life to the military and you hope and pray you never have to ask for something like this, believe me it was hard for Jason and I to put in a request for him to come home. It meant he was giving up to a point and had to choose his family before service and that is something that he does not take lightly and something I do not take lightly either. I have called a couple people that I know with higher rank than Jason or I to help explain things to us and to find out if we have a "plan B" and if we do not then I will take it for what it simply is and go on doing what I have been, caring for my kiddos the best I can, taking care of a home as best I can, and getting better as quickly as I can. The other question that we are faced with is, where are we moving now when he comes home or does he come back here? Our assignment to Germany as many of you know was cancelled due to my being sick and having a recovery period of at least 1 more year but now we are also worried we are going to get some awful assignment and not be near any family. All in all this news just plain sucks! I wish I was happy and peppy today but instead I am sad and rather gloomy, it matches the weather. I will go pick up my kids soon, come home and begin our nightly routine of dinner and baths and cuddles and make tomorrow a better day. Today I will allow myself to feel down and I will dust myself off in the morning and make it better. I appreciate the kind thoughts, prayers, and love you all send my family and I. It is much appreciated in times of stress and sadness. Again much love to you all. <3<3<3