Music...On a saturday night, my thoughts.

~Music clears my soul, it fills me with memories and words that at times I am at a loss for. I have been a single mommy for the better part of 9 months now, still no idea where Jason is going from here, lot's of "Life stress" and the intense busy part of my life raising 3 kiddos under age 3! Whew!!! I must say this last 9 months has taught me to have more patience than I ever thought possible, my kids filled a void I never thought could be filled and lastly it brought music back into my life. Once I had the kids I was on autopilot, always tired, then had Violet back to back with the twins. I had a tendency to zone out in front of the tv, due to many reasons but it was just something I did. These last 9 months I have re-discovered my love for music, I crave it daily and it has been an amazing journey to rekindle our relationship. I know this may sound silly to some but to me music clears my head, my heart and helps me feel better. I grew up with good music around me, my parents loved bands like The Doors, The Rolling Stones, Elton John, Elvis...The list is endless. My dear grammy LOVED Willie Nelson, and once again Elvis...The song "Always on my mind" by Willie Nelson will forever remind me of her, it brings me back to a time where I would stay the night at her house and cuddle her, hug her, I still remember her wonderful smell...She was one of the best people I ever had the privelage to know and to love. She was amazing, she would light up a room and when we would talk about Willie Nelson she would give a shy smile, like she was in on a secret, it was the best. She also showed me her love of musicals, the love that also became mine. I LOVE MUSICALS! I love the characters bursting out into song, it is the best!!! When I was young, maybe 9 or 10 her and I and my mom went and saw Phantom of the opera, I remember sitting beside her mesmerized, thinking this was the best...Still 20 plus years later I remember holding her delicate hand and relishing in that moment. A moment that will occupy a portion of my heart always. I sit here listening to some calming music after a long yet fun day with my kids, I am a mommy who will always strive for the best for my kids. We went shopping today and had fun, albeit tiring still fun to spoil them a bit and gosh knows they are always spoiled...Who cares! :) Music also brings back dear friends who are now separated from me living in different states, I remember when I was at Scott Air Force Base in Illinois sitting in my best friends home...listening to music, laughing, sometimes crying, playing cards and just hanging out. Those also were some of the most amazing times of my young adult life, times I go back to in my heart when I listen to a certain song or even chat with her on the phone. I miss simple times, when I could just "be", but when I am feeling less than myself I turn on a favorite album or song and go back to those memories. Those memories that even tonight are first on my mind and heart. Blessings and love to you all~