Thoughts for a Saturday night...

A few thoughts as I sit here in semi-quiet.. 1.I am stronger than I have given myself credit for. I always doubted "ME" because others did and I now know without a shadow of a doubt I can do anything I set my mind to because..well..I CHOOSE TO! 2. My faith in God has not wavered for a moment during this past almost 10 months as a single parent. If anything I trust him more now than I had before, and I have given most things to him. I say "most" because I am a work in progress on giving it ALL to him. I like control and well so does God! Can anyone say Tug O' War? 3. My kids are my bliss, they make me laugh, cry, and feel loved ALL the times that I may not feel so great in other areas of my life. They light up any room they enter and I must say I get compliments on how well behaved my trio is, I work hard on manners, and how NOT to be. 4. As a mom you learn to be less selfish and that is the best thing in the world, I once was a self proclaimed selfish person and now I am not thanks to my children. 5. Trust is hard to get back once it is lost, but it can be restored with alot of hard work and dedication. 6. I am obsessed with frozen yogurt! Now onto some other rambles if you will...This week, actually Thursday afternoon we were notified at work that a fallen soldier(Casket) was landing on Peterson AFB and that we needed to render respect. At 1:00pm hundreds of people lined the streets and waited for the hurse, the family in the cars after the casket and we all either stood at attention or saluted. There were some people that never got out of their cars and were upset that traffic was being held up, sadly there will always be that group. As I was standing at attention (Old military habits always will be there!) a very old man using a walker, stood at attention beside me and then we both saluted as the family and the fallen soldier passed us. Some civilians say it is not correct for those retired or that separated as I did NOT salute, I do not care...That 38 year old Air Force Major with 3 young kids and a wife deserved my salute. It always brings me to tears, for the loss, for the fact that this war still rages on and simply put a lost life just a few years older than me is hard to digest. I could never imagine leaving my children, so it was a somber afternoon to say the least. Then the old man standing beside me thanked me for my service as I did him, I also learned he was a WWII veteran that was in the thick of it all back then. What a treasure it was to meet him and to watch this probably 90 year old man get out of his car, stand at attention and salute, WOW! Tears rolled down my cheeks as I saluted that fallen Airman for my love of the service and my love for my fellow brothers and sisters in the service. I am a veteran of the United States Air Force and it has shaped and molded me into a good women, human being, person. The definition of a Hero has many facets in my opinion and I got to render respect to 2, I am so lucky. A few other things if you will, some relationships in my life sadly will never be what I want them to be. I will never be close to certain people the way I want. It is not a distance thing but more a personality thing I suppose, I came to a peaceful place with that this week, and although painful to realize, at 32 it is time I move on and put my focus on other more important things. I take my relationships with others be it family, friends, co-workers very seriously and I wear my heart on my sleeve, perhaps a weakness at times but I will continue to be the person I am because God has made me this way. I also had to come to terms with some painful items in my past this week, had to re-hash some tough times and I came out of that stronger, and better for it. Having had over 24 hours now to "recover" if you will I have learned that I will always have my things that make me who I am and these things will never ruin me, I will never allow it to ruin me again. Finally we move in 2.5 months! WOW! I am purging old clothes, and stuff that is not needed, a mental cleansing and a physical one. I think it is good for everyone to have those kinds of things at times...It helps us move on and be a better version of ourselves! I strive to be a Godly women and mother and although I fall daily, I get up, brush myself off and continue on. Not many can say that, I will never give up and that much I know to be true. Soon I will go tuck in my 3 beautiful kids and say our prayers and retreat to the couch for some quiet time. May you all have a blessed night and Sunday. Thank you to those few who read...It really does mean the world to me to know my words are read and understood. Also attached some pictures from our trip to California! ~Much love Sarah