Deep in thought-Friday~

18 days, until the movers take our stuff and put it on a big truck and take it away from Colorado Springs. Away from a home that I have called HOME for nearly 7 of the 10 years, a home I brought all 3 children home to...A home we have loved, done so much to and have made it well OUR HOME. I sit here with my kids in their room, having their laugh-fest as they do together every night and here I sit...Thinking, pensive, glasses on, thoughtful--with candles flickering in various areas of my home thinking just a few more weeks and we will leave. I love this home, for what we turned it into, for the neighbors we know and love as a result, for where life as taken me in the past 10 years I have been here in Colorado Springs. For a year I have been mentally preparing to move, yes the move was a must as we have been here too long by Air Force standards, heck by our standards and for Jason's career a move after Korea was necessary and my lists are all ready, boxes are beginning to get separated on what will go with us and what our movers will take. I used to be so good at moving when I was in the Air Force, I moved A LOT while I was in...I moved, I moved on, met new people, did a new job, etc...Yet now in my 30's, with 3 kids, a job, comfort here I feel well scared. Scared is not a word I utter often and I never put it out there to anyone really because I am strong and I deal internally more times than not. Some may say it is not healthy but I am working on it and always try to be a better version of myself. I am preparing to say goodbye's that I am not ready to say, thankfully my few people I can rely on here have gone above and beyond and will be helping me and the trio the last few weeks here, I have Jay and Marci whom I adore watching my dogs while we are in temporary lodging on base and we will also be staying with them one night prior to moving on base for a week. Any time I ask them for anything there is never hesitation and I really appreciate that. We will have to soon to our bye's to Don and Kathy who have been pivotal in our lives here. Anything we ever needed they were here, ALWAYS! Our kids call them Nana and Papa and I know the feelings of sadness and missing are mutual. I will be a big tearful mess when we drive away from Colorado Springs. Things will fall into place as they always do, but tonight I am letting myself think, be pensive and well reflect. This week has been a rough one, with everything going on in my life it seems my stomach issues just get worse and worse but hopefully once single parent duty is done I can really sit back and heal. Allow our family in WV to care for us while we are there and then let Jason take the bulk of everything on because I really need to get better. The later part of this week was a struggle, I barely made it through full days of work, but I know next week is a new week and I pray that Tuesday I will feel better! Celiac disease is a sneaky one, it creeps up in foods you think are GLUTEN FREE and then BAMMM it knocks you down-over and over again. One thing I have learned on this journey/nightmare is that it really is a disease and I am far from healed sadly. With dedication, the right support and Dr's I hope to be a lot better by Spring. My Celiac disease is very severe, but compounded with Endocrine issues and it makes for a not so great life. Yet here I sit able to count my blessings and know that I am being brought through these tests if you will to perhaps help others? Or simply know how to navigate such a tricky road, a road that has been a rough one but one that was necessary-if that makes any sense. I am stronger because of this, on days like today I may not feel that way but tomorrow is a fresh and new day! I will get better, it just takes time! I guess this blog was sort of all over the place but it is my blog and my rules. I wish you all a wonderful night filled with beautiful dreams and a great Saturday to wake up to! Love and blessings from the trio and I~