Being a parent~

Being a parent is something I knew I always wanted, I grew up in a big family being the oldest of 5 and the youngest is now driving and almost a Junior in high school. Family and kids were always on my "list" of things I wanted when I met my soulmate, got married and was ready to have them. Not many of you know the journey I went through to have my trio, my 3 beautiful children that are my blessings in so many more ways than I could ever describe with words. If you could look in my soul, heart you would see that they are it! Yes my husband is my love as well, BUT being a mommy...well in my book there is nothing better. I got married when I was 25 and we started to explore the family that we would hope to one day have, we traveled, bought a home, saved money, made sure that we were ready to begin trying to have kids. I had a total of 8 documented miscarriages, some I had to have a D&C and some simply were a natural thing my body got rid of. Then we hit the point where I was no longer getting pregnant, we knew the problem was with me as we went to an infertility specialist, paid more money than I can to admit and we had our twins. Before I got pregnant it was determined I had/have what is called Factor 5 and essentially the blood clots around a fetus and in the end the fetus/baby does not make it. So all I had to do was give myself shots daily and that would take care of it. How wrong I was! After quite a bit of money spent we were pregnant with the twins, my journey was fought with bedrest at 18 weeks, no "fun" baby showers, etc...It was work just to keep the twins in. I had to have everything sewn up, known as a cerclage at 18 weeks in hopes we could make it to the magic number of 28 weeks. We ended up making it to 32 weeks and 5 days when my water broke at 11pm there was no turning back, an emergency c-section and they were here! Tiny, as big as a Venti coffee cup from Starbucks I kid you not but healthy they were. This would really start my life known as PARENT, I would sleep a few hours a night, pump and breastfeed all the time and that first year was a bit of a haze but we made it. It was such a haze as luck would have it that I got pregnant when the babies were 3 months old with Violet and no help mind you! I was so far along that we could tell what she was at our first ultrasound, God really blessed us and continues to do so. When Violet was born I had Kathy and Don our family/next door neighbors in Colorado and my dad. We brough Miss Violet Millie home on November 20, 2010 and life would never be the same, Jason's mom moved in to help because it was a lot and I went back to work when Violet was about 3 months old. We found our groove, our routine, one that we perfect even now over 3 years later, I could not imagine my life, our life without my children. They are my sun, my moon, my world, my everything. Which brings me to yesterday, a typical Monday morning started and we had breakfast, nap time, lunch, snacks, played games and as I was sitting at the computer working on some homework we lost all power in our home. I was not too concerned because we have had wicked rain storms the past 3 days with power outages, etc...So I went about 25 steps to my right to check on the kids and Scarlett screamed "bubby fell and is not moving!" I kicked into mom mode quickly, I scooped him up and began to revive him, to get him talking and to tell me what the heck happened! After Scarlett and Kellan quickly told me what happened I called Jason and told him to get his butt home and NOW. Power, and Electrician type stuff is what Jason does in the Air Force so I knew I needed him pronto. He came home and by then Kellan was lethargic, a burn on his left hand that what I found out was from him sticking a rather large staple into a light socket, got zapped rather strongly, and was pushed back about 10-12 inches from the outlet. He had hit his head, was confused, said his arm hurt and I made that quick decision to dress him quickly and hit the ER. We got to Eglin Air Force Base ER and was seen right away, a CT scan revealed a tiny bleed from his head hitting the ground, but nothing to worry too much over, a 2nd degree burn to his left hand and confusion and just very out of it. Yes I was in mommmy-mode and totally flipped out of my head! He was in pain, getting stuck with needles, blood was being taken to check liver function, kidney function and potassium levels just in case he had internal burns. It was made rather quickly that he must be transported to Pensacola Sacred Heart Hospital children's area. They prepped my scared boy into the ambulance and I followed behind in my car, the long 1 hour drive was spent with me weepy quite honestly, biting all of my nails off and talking to my mom, Jason's mom and my dad, and sister. The pouring rain did not help but I was determined to be there with my sweet boy every step of the way. We got there at around 8pm and more testing revealed that he was ok, Thank GOD! He must follow up with his Dr to make sure his kidneys are ok because when there is an interal current that travels through ones body the kidneys could be damaged, and we need to keep an eye on his hand as well. After all said and done I buckled my sweety into his car seat a little after 3am this morning. After enduring this entire deal for more than 13 hours in total it was time to make our way home, it was an hour and 15 minute drive so I got home just before the sun came up, I put Kellan to bed and I sat on the couch and decompressed, thought about how good I am at child proofing everything and honestly blaming myself a bit for not watching enough, etc...We all have those moments as parents don't we? Did we do enough? Did we do our best? What could have been done as well? Then emotions really sunk in and I cried, cried out of relief, out of the fact that God took care of my baby and I am so very blessed, and finally I cried from sheer exhaustion. Being a parent is the best and most scary job there is! I felt compelled to share this story because I hope others can relate. My parents said to me this morning, "Well the worry will never end so prepare yourself!" and how very true that is! Jason took the kids to the park and my babies just came home with flowers they picked for me, sigh...What a beautiful feeling! Every day as a parent we learn, some days are better than others but no matter what...Hug those little ones tight, do your best and enjoy the ride because it really is the best ride of all! Love, blessings and light to you all.~~