Thoughts for a Friday~

Lately I have been focusing my energy on those that lift me up, those that do not bring me down and I have found that in Shoreline church, my church home that has so many awesome people in it that I am amazed each time I walk through the doors. It is a very come as you are church, no dressing up here, no bible is even necessary-they do everything through live streaming through your smartphone which is super awesome. Being a church greeter last weekend was so awesome, making people feel at ease and I have been told by people at church my smile lights up the room so perhaps I can make a difference in someone's morning with my smile! There has been so many things that have happened in my life very recently, I guess you could say my "blinders" came off in regards to some situations in my life and although at first it hurt to see those things front and center, it was necessary and I was sad for a bit about it but then I woke up and realized that things-ALL THINGS happen for a reason don't they? The first of many things in my life that has changed is how I feel about ME, I am learning to love me again and that feels pretty great. I have surrounded myself with woman who do not judge me, who instead encourage me in so many ways it is hard to put into words. One friend I have grown close to is Ingrid and she baked me brownies a few weeks ago because it had been a rough few days..Why? No reason other than to tell me I am thought of, with a beautiful card. Another mommy I have met through Instagram/my cousin/and blogging is Allison and her hubby Ian and their beautiful baby Lemon-a few months back she sent the kids and I all friendship bracelets that she made-why? Because she is amazing, and the card was so sweet, it said something like find strength in knowing you have a friend in Arizona who thinks of you all...WOW! My point? There are so many amazing people out there if we take our "blinders off" we can be receptive to those people, those messages from our God of choice be that or spirituality, or simply just a peaceful existence. For a very long time I tried to hold on to things and people in my life that have simply slipped away, I have mourned those things and people and am letting them go. Why? Because I am happier for it, and quite honestly we get one chance at this life and I choose LIFE. This blog may go back and forth so please bear with me, for the last 5 weeks I have been reading a book called "Weird" and the basic premise behind it is society tells us what is "hip", "in" and how we should be if we want to fit that perfect mold that in my opinion is stupid and pointless. I caught a few minutes of Joan Rivers on The Fashion Police show recently and honestly who made her and the panel of people the know it all when it comes to fashion? Joan Rivers is scary looking, and all the other women and the one man are so eager to bring people up or down due to their fashion choices, I feel our society does that to us with being the perfect weight, looking good in this or that, having that job that will make all of your dreams come true, and that money makes that world go round and round! The "STUFF" is just that, it is not the meat of our lives and society continues to make us feel the exact opposite sadly..I have done a few things to disengage from society to a point, I no longer watch much TV at night if any after the kids go to bed, I also suspended my Facebook account for the time being. Social media was a time-suck for me and I found myself checking in and updating my status instead of living those moments. The final straw or rather a few, was that Scarlett my daughter said she hates that I am on my phone all the time, second I made an update on Facebook that several people thought had to do with them, and finally I found it all exhausting. I simply could not keep up, I am really trying to find ME yet social media made it difficult if that makes any sense, and I know my church ladies will get it because I have been talking about Facebook for months to them and about how I needed to get off of it somehow, almost like a drug! Haha! I am happy to say I am 5 days sober from Facebook and I feel great-I do not even miss it! My dad said I should write a book about coming off the Facebook drug and how it has made me feel-While I am sure I will be back at some point I need to devote less time to social media stuff and more time to what really matters, family, true friends, and enjoy life! Quickly back to the "Weird" book, we as a society worry too much about what others think, and we want to "fit", I am guilty of this more times than I care to admit but a promise I made to myself several days ago was simple-I am going to be me no matter what, even if that version of myself is not everyone's favorite they will either love me regardless or move on. This last week has opened my eyes more than I ever thought possible and it always takes a profound event/events to do that doesn't it? This book has spoke to me on so many levels, and it has showed me that I gave too much time to certain relationships that ended up being one sided, that I cannot control everything although my OCD personality had a tough time with that one! It is simple---I was focused on the wrong things, earthly things, people and their opinions. Instead I am now going to enjoy my life more, we all have STUFF, we all have fights, burdens, troubles in general but I choose to focus on those that will make me stronger, no more doubt here-and now I am going to go put my tired trio down for a nap and enjoy a little quiet! I will post a few pictures of some beautiful new friends...Enjoy! And remember-no matter what--It is A-OK to be totally WEIRD!!!!!

Sarah