Welcome to a FUNK-TASTIC Monday!

Monday STUNK the huge one today...Woke up feeling "off" and damn it, it got worse and worse. I drank a triple espresso which I never do and yet still felt drained. I think alot of my being drained is more emotional than physical. I miss my gym time, work simply is not allowing it currently and so I need to resort to getting a sitter after work once or twice a week during the work day, I need this time more than I could explain via words. I am at a weight I am NOT THRILLED with, there I said it...I feel like a big, fat COW! I am heavier than I ever have been and at 32 I am trying so hard NOT to be this weight. There I said it, I am a women who hates her weight! haha! I do my Zumba, Yoga and other things at home but there is something amazing that happens when you are around others who strive for the same fitness. For many reasons, be it stress relief, weight loss, maintaining a healthy life or a combo of all of those and perhaps more. My job is very demanding, I do the job/jobs of probably 2 or 3 full time people yet am supposed to maintain "normal" while running around, never getting a lunch break let alone a pee break and simply trying to take care of my patients because that is why I am there...For them!!! To make said processess easier and if any one has ever encountered military ANYTHING you know there is a form for every damn thing, and it is quite daunting, even to someone who has been in the system in some capacity for darn near 15 years now. Wow! Time really does fly by in a blink..For those many years I have missed out on birthday parties, summer shin-digs at my folks house, Christmas's, Thanksgiving's and all the other holidays one can think of. I have been on my own a long time, I am tough, and independent to a fault so says some. I like to do things my way and on my own. I taught myself those values at a young age as did the Air Force and I think it is a great way to be! I have been struggling with finding the time to be at my dad's 50th birthday party, it is a 19 hour drive each way for us and I can do it, no problem but sadly I would only get 3 days off total so one day there, one day at the rents' and then back on the road the 3rd day...about 40 hours of drive time and that is alot. Too much sadly and so I will miss yet another milestone to my dad, my man in my life besides Jason and my son. As I have posted in the past MY DAD is the best, we grew up together, he was 18 or 19 and I was well young...:) We navigated parent/daughter(Kid)stuff together. I have never had to worry about my dad NOT being there yet here I am sad because unless my boss allows more time off I simply cannot swing it. I am still trying to work it, not all is lost yet but I got a nice guilt trip from my 16 year old sister who knows it all! haha! I was just like her at that age, we knew it all...:) I will pray about it and see what God puts on my heart... Finally the news our little family has been waiting for, Jason got his follow on orders to Florida and I am scared, I will be out of my element jobwise and citywise. I am scared, I have been here for nearly 10 years now. I have a home and a life here, yet in a few short months I am supposed to pick up and move. How does one do that? I am finding it very unsettling because YES I am a control freak with OCD to the highest degree!!! I will be back to looking for jobs, updating resumes' which I despise and selling myself again. I hope all the hard work here and awards won will help me. My hospital commander is a wonderful man and has put in some wonderful words for me at Egland AFB near Ft. Walton Beach Florida. It is white sandy beaches and clear blue water, much different from snow and well all 4 seasons and then some. I am at a loss currently so prayers and kind words would do wonders. Thank you to my few people who support my rambles...I love you all so much.. ~Until we meet again S