Time happens in a blink, literally goes so quickly and I sit here listening to all 3 of my beautiful, amazing, hilarious, and funny children playing. Lately they refer to themselves as "Mommy, daddy and baby". Scarlett is "Mommy", Kellan is "Daddy" and Violet is "Baby"...It is hilarious! They play, "make dinner", do laundry, clean the house and so much more. This is all fake mind you, I do not utilize child labor just yet-Haha! The last few days I have been overwhelmed with emotion, I remember that fateful day my twins were born and today they celebrate their 4th birthday! Where did time go? I remember that day was warm, and I sat in my neighbors front yard in a chair watching them stack wood for fires and I felt so great! No major contractions, no major swelling, and thankfully I was at that point where we had steroids for lung development, Both my OBGYN and high risk OBGYN had done all they could to prepare us, the rest was up to God. I was HUGE-I remember thinking that I was a whole person larger than my normal 120-ish weight, I could hardly walk without pain...I was on so many medications to KEEP those two little ones in that it kept me feeling less than stellar but we had such an awesome support system in our neighbors Don and Kathy, our respective families, and friends from work, etc...We had dinner that night, went to bed early-I remember laying down and poor Jason had to stuff so many pillows around me, under me--it was a process! I had just dozed off and felt a "pop", I thought I had peed the bed, I remember telling him to just wait and see if it was just that. He called the Dr. first, then our neighbor Kathy-Haul it to the hospital was what the Dr. stated so we did! I called my parents on the way- it was 11pm or so, I had this feeling that babies were coming and there was nothing I could but pray and hope and believe that they would be ok, they would be able to breathe, that they would make it. The pregnancy was awful as a whole, shots daily, pills daily, you name it. I waddled to Labor and Delivery and as luck would have it my regular Dr. was there. He attempted to test the fluid to see if it was amniotic fluid but there was no more so he simply said-"Babies in 15 minutes." and walked out-Ready or not here we go! I was exactly 32 weeks and 5 days-it was tough, scary, and I remember talking to my mom and dad, then Kathy our neighbor/family-we prayed and I was prepped for a C-section pretty quickly. The scene that was in the delivery room was out of a movie, so many people, each baby had their own "team"-I was scared but ready or not here we go! Scarlett came out first and was peeing all over Dr. Baiza-and SCREAMING--YAY! Next Kellan came out, no screaming, he was pretty limp and later on we would be told the cord was wrapped around his neck. Both babies and Jason went to the NICU-I went to recovery, saw Kathy-I think we both were crying and then I talked to my mom and lost it. I remember thinking I never even really got to see them, with time I would be able to do so but for the time being I needed to focus on ME and getting stable so I could see them on my way to my room. I got to see the babies quickly, cuddle, kiss and let the nurses and Dr's do their stuff. It was a feeling that I cannot really explain, I was helpless, I could do nothing for them, I could not nurse them, I could not cuddle them...I simply had to wait, what a helpless feeling that is in retrospect. A feeling that I will never forget, and if I close my eyes I remember that feeling. Carrying a child is a blessing, but to carry multiples is so much more intense. Fast forward several days, it was painful to see IV's in your child's head, tubes everywhere, navigating the lingo that comes with the NICU and all that goes on there. It was encouraged to visit daily BUT for limited amounts of time because their body temperature could not be regulated on their own or stay regulated so holding them was minimal for a period of time. The day we were discharged to go home without the kids was the hardest day, we felt lost, we did not go home. We went to lunch, then a movie, then dinner, then back to the hospital so I could pump and attempt to nurse. Once I could drive I was there every morning, afternoon and evening as was Jason pending his work schedule and that was our life but with each day they got stronger, and so did we. We became parents, a word that has so many meanings. It is not just being the heavy when needed or take them to fun places, it means the good, the bad, and the in between! Being a parent is really the most beautiful thing I could have ever done for my life, for their life and how darn lucky we are to have 3 very healthy and happy kiddos who love God, listen well, and continue to amaze me daily! <3 Then one year and five days later as luck would have it Violet Millie graced us with her presence! She is a beautiful, hilarious, messy, little tornado that makes me laugh all the time! She will be 3 years old on the 18th and when people ask me if I have triplets the answer is always YES! They are all on track with the same things, learning, etc. This past year I have been home with them more and it has been fun, interesting, and every other emotion one can think of! This weekend grandparents, cousins, and their auntie will be here-it will be fun! Being a parent means so many things and it evolves each day-I am holding on for dear life because my trio keeps me on my toes that is for sure!! WOW!
Love to you all~
S
No comments:
Post a Comment