A bucket list and a stroll down my memory lane~

There are so many things I want to do in my lifetime-so many things I want to see, share with my kids/family, and life so busily gets in the way that at times you forget  what YOU really want!  Passions, accomplishments, things you might be proud of, lessons learned the hard way more times than not.  The possibilities on this angle are endless.  My dad ran the Los Angeles marathon last year with my brother (Spring 2014) and along with his bib number instead of his name it said "Bucket list".  My parents have taught me that hard work and dedication do pay off, even if it is not in the timeframe that we would hope for.  I remember as a young kiddo(1985?) my parents worked full time, we lived with my grandparents, in a teeny-tiny room-my parents slept on a pull out couch and my little brother and I slept on these tiny fold out couches.  We lived there while my parents saved for a home, they worked a lot.  I remember being with my grandparents a lot, I have so many fond memories.  We did not have fancy anything, but the laughs that we had, the family gatherings, so much fun...In the summer if it was too hot to be inside we would lay a blanket on the front yard out side and hang out, my dad would at times drag us around on said blanket on the front yard.  It was HILARIOUS!  We had an absolute blast, I am sitting here smiling remembering what a funny memory because to most I am sure it sounds ridiculous but to us-IT.WAS.HEAVEN.  Now as a thirty-something mom and wife I get it, I get what my parents were doing.  They were doing the best for their family, we moved to our new home a year or so later and thus would begin a new journey.  I look back and although we did not take fancy vacations, or have fancy clothing we were/are a close knit family who loves to laugh, and make the most of life.  I hope to pass that on to my kids as they get older and we continue making our own memories.  I want them to look back one day and say that they have fun memories of...and share that with their families. 

A bucket list-do I have one?  Yes I have been compiling ideas and thoughts, more so lately. 
1. To make a difference-I believe that my military time made a small difference. I am proud of that.
2. Learn to take better pictures, not be a professional but simply learn to capture light better, so that I can put my pictures together for our family to look back on someday. 
3. To be a nurse.  This dream might be happening soon, I am working on seeing if I can get into New Mexico state university and make this happen.  Someday that will happen! 
4. To do more community service and to teach my children the value in it. 
5. To be a better person, more positive, more open.

Now to some these might not seem like Bucket list material but they are things that are close to my heart.  I am happy with my life and how it has gone this far, I work hard, I have met some great co-workers that have become family as well.  The move to New Mexico was not all excitement at first but now a few months later, I can say that I am blessed beyond words could explain.  I have a good, solid job.  I have a few awesome friends.  The kids and I are part of a wonderful church and this coming Wednesday is my first night of the bible study.  I will meet others that are trying to find their place, their happiness, their faith. 

Honestly, My faith wavered this last year.  And not in a positive way.  I shut myself away from dear friends that were once my "people" in this life, I told lies, I was not a good person in my opinion and I was not proud of some of the things I did as well as some of the things that I encountered.  I was resentful and unhappy, I was mad at Jason because I had to leave my Government job in Colorado to go to Florida and be a full time SAHM.  My job was mommy and I felt that was not enough.  Looking back with fresh eyes, a new outlook, a new life, and a positive disposition I was selfish-I wanted MORE.  More of what?  Who knows, more of everything-MORE.  I do not like that word MORE, it seems our society is stuck on more of everything be it homes, vacations, bank accounts, you name it.  This summer I decided I did not like who I was so I changed.  I unplugged from a lot in my life and hit the restart button.  I believe that we all hit those times in life, for me it was like hitting a cement wall at 75MPH.  Now?  I have a new home, a new city to explore, a new job I love, new people in my life, my marriage is much better and my babies are happy-but the key element is I AM HAPPY.  I am truly recharged, I am ready to take on 2015!  Perhaps that is another thing for my list, make 2015 great! 

Perhaps this post was a bit all over the place but that is ok-it feels good to have my thoughts and feelings out there.  I keep it real and true. 

May you all have a beautiful night-bring on this new week! 
Namaste~

~S